


Shattering Stars

by PadawanTimeLord



Series: Rhapsody of Paradise [3]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Kill me slowly, Rey gets what she wants, Save Ben Solo, Shameless Smut, and what she wants is our thicc boi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-07 12:16:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13434546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadawanTimeLord/pseuds/PadawanTimeLord
Summary: A lot of Rey's firsts happened with Ben, and she's determined to make sure they aren't going to be her lasts as well. Being the Supreme Leader is exhausting him, but she's going to make him give time to her if she has to.Ben is scared that she's going to put him off the way everyone in his life has. The thought of her giving him empty promises is more terrifying than death.Shameless smut, focus is on their relationship and not plot.





	1. Chapter 1

Bathhouses are almost as foreign to Rey as the ocean. Water filtered and cleaned and drained almost every day for the simple purpose of sitting in it, not even to get clean. Before she goes into the bath pools, she has to scrub any existing dirt off of her body as to not contaminate anyone else. So she’s not bathing to get clean. She’s sitting in a ludicrous amount of water that could keep her entire outpost back on Jakku supplied for  _ years, _ naked, with other people equally naked. It would be easier for her to understand if it is only something the exceedingly rich do, but this particular bathhouse is actually considered to be ‘middle class’.  _ Not even close to being expensive, _ Leia insists when she gave Rey the bathhouse pass for the duration of their stay.

 

Using water as a pleasure, not a hard to access privilege, is an alien idea she’s still trying to swallow. She sits in the smaller pools to avoid others, gently tapping the water around her. The first time, she would cup her hands in the water over and over again and let it run down her fingers, fascination of the element’s behavior entertaining her for hours. But the novelty wore out after the first couple of visits, but because she hates wasting anything she comes to bathe every day after her shift instead of showering in the barracks. Maybe she should figure out how to waterproof her datapad so she can work while she’s here. 

 

Something shimmers in the corner of her mind, an audible _crack_ resonating through the cavernous bathhouse, the sound of millions of trillions of space folding together. Rey glances around to see if anyone else heard, though she knows it’s all in her head. She knows the drill now. She folds herself into a ball, protecting her bare body from his gaze when he materializes by her. 

 

“Rey.” His voice is like music to her ears, though it’s audibly more raspy than usual. She turns her head to look at him. Hollow eyes and dark circles that almost sag down his cheeks signal his exhaustion. But when they make eye contact, everything about him softens. His muscles relax, his gaze going from smoldering to loving, finger uncurling from fists at his sides. He’s alone, she can’t sense another presence with him. Also, a small, insignificant detail: he’s naked in the tub, facing her. Their bodies could brush if she moves her legs just a few degrees.

 

 She glances around to make sure no one is within ear shot, or even sight. She only comes late after her shift of repairing droids and machinery with the other mechanics, after going through official piloting training with Poe. Barely anyone’s here, she sees a couple on the other side of the room deep in the throes of passion, and a single person in the smaller pool that has current jets that create bubbles. She doubts that anyone’s paying attention. That doesn’t make her any less nervous. “Ben.” 

 

The last time they met he didn’t seem to mind her calling him that. She sang it like a prayer while he was in between her legs, but today she sees a visible change in his stature. “Kylo Ren,” He corrects, his eyes flickering to avoid looking at her. 

 

It’s like a sudden rift appears between them. Rage twists in her stomach, even hearing that name from someone else brings ungodly amounts of agony to her. Kylo Ren is the one who killed his father, Kylo Ren is the one who thoughtlessly murders anyone in his way, Kylo Ren is the one who takes his anger out on those around him. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is her enemy. Ben Solo, however, is none of those things. “Would you like for me to call you by your full title?” Rey asks dully, disappointment deflating her excitement. 

 

He tenses, looking back at her. “No. Never.” 

 

Rey lets herself sink until the water is up to her chin. “It’s either Ben, or Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Scourge of the Galaxy and First of His Name.” 

 

The two of them face off in a staring contest until his mouth twitches up in a defeated smile. “I’m not the Scourge of the Galaxy.” His tone is hollow, and Rey knows that he’d rather not have this conversation with her now. She knows he never wants to have that conversation, but it has to happen eventually. Especially now- now that they are…

 

She doesn’t even know what terminology to use. Not lovers, not with the war between them. Boy/girlfriend sounds stupid and doesn’t even cover the extent of their relationship. Significant other is an unnecessarily long mouthful. Intimate? She wraps her arms tighter around her knees. “Ben, then.” She states calmly, daring him to reprimand her. He doesn’t respond, staring at the water in front of him and very carefully not looking at her. They stay in silence until Rey’s fingers get crinkly. Usually that’s when she goes back to her room that she shares with three others, and sleeps until the horrific sound of her alarm goes off the next morning. Usually. 

 

“I haven’t seen you in awhile.” She breaks the silence, murmuring low so no one thinks she’s talking to herself. 

 

“I’ve been busy.” He responds just as quietly trying to relax in the shallow water. “New duties.” 

 

“Right.” Rey doesn’t want to say that she misses him. Rey doesn’t want to say that when she manages to find private time to touch herself that she thinks of him. She wonders why he hasn’t shown up during those few and spaced out moments when she finally is alone and out of earshot from anyone. She doesn’t ask. He just has to look at her to know what she’s thinking.

 

“Rey.” She loves it when he says her name like that, like it’s precious and his. “I’m sorry.” 

 

Without realizing it, she’s scooting closer to him. She can feel pulse pounding under his skin, quickening with her proximity. She leans in, brushing her lips onto his in an experiment, to see if her skin registers his. It doesn’t feel nearly as good as actually kissing him, but it’s a lot better than nothing at all. He shifts to receive her, cupping her cheek and letting her run her tongue along his lips. 

 

“I want you.” She mumbles, his breath tickling her neck like he’s really there. His tongue flicks against her flesh as an answer, she can feel his length hardening against the leg she draped across his thigh. “I want to see you.” 

 

He nibbles her neck, his teeth gentle against her skin. He doesn’t answer for a moment, inhaling, trying to smell her through the bond. “You know I can’t say no when you ask me that.” His voice is shaky, stress underneath his words. 

 

Rey pulls back from him, immediately sensing that something’s off. “What’s wrong?” She asks, kneeling in front of him, one hand against his cheek and the other on his neck. It’s a bit of a power play, she’s forcing him to look at her. He doesn’t even try to resist, instead staring at her with those despairing abyss eyes as though she’s a goddess. As though she’s  _ his _ goddess. 

 

“Mad scramble for power. Half the First Order is sucking up to me like whores, the other half trying to kill me every creative way they can.” 

 

Again she’s reminded that she’s his enemy, but she doesn’t recoil. She can’t recoil from him anymore, not when they’ve shared so much together. And maybe that’s horribly naive of her, but there’s something about the bond that gives her such an acute understanding of him. She pulls his face up for another kiss, aware that to an outsider she’s probably just waggling her tongue in the air. Her face turns a little pink and she pulls back to glance around. No one’s watching, thank god. 

 

“You’re not in private.” He observes, craning his neck to look around. Thankfully either he doesn’t know where she is or simply can’t see, because no flash of recognition flickers in his eye. A shy smile, “I didn’t know you were an exobitionist, Rey.” 

 

He’s trying to joke, but Rey doesn’t understand it. “What’s that?” 

 

 “An exobitionist is um… someone who likes being in public naked.” Ben says, slightly embarrassed. 

 

 “I’m just… bathing. I don’t want anyone to hear me.” 

 

“Right.” Gears start turning in his head, Rey can tell he’s already trying to figure out where she is so she decides not to give him any more information. 

“How about I come to you?” She asks quietly, distracting him from his deductions. It does the trick, he stiffens and stares at her in shock of what she suggests. Almost entirely out of character for her, yes, but his absence in her mind is beginning to wear her down. She doesn't just want to see him. She wants to touch him, to  _ taste _ him, to writhe beneath him when he licks between her dripping thighs. 

 

“You would… come to me?” He’s suddenly vulnerable, quiet. It’s like he’s a little boy begging for his parents to come see him. Always excuses, always promises to make it up. 

 

Trust. Trust between them, that’s what she’s craving. “Time and place, Ben. Just… be reasonable.” 

 

He’s quiet, not elated like she thought he would be. Suspicion, terror, the fear of being lied to the way his parents would.  _ I’ll be there. Just a few more hours. I’m almost done with work. I’ll only be gone for three weeks. I’ll kiss you goodnight. I’m almost done, almost done.  _

 

“Ben.” 

 

He looks over at her, reaches over to brush some hair from her face. “Alright.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say that this wasn't supposed to have a lot of plot. I don't think this is plot, it's just... relationship porn. Porn with a good relationship building.

Rey has to be very careful where she chooses to meet him. Hashing out a timeline is something else entirely- she managed to get a few days of leave from the General, who was a little suspicious of Rey’s reasoning, though in the end understanding and gracious. Rey didn’t  _ tell _ the General any lies, just made it sound like she was going to track her parents down. Which she is going to do, if she just so happened to catch a lead on their whereabouts. Yes, sure, they sold her away, but the stupidly optimistic part of Rey hopes they have a really good reason. Like maybe she had a sick sibling and the only way to pay for medical expenses was to sell their baby girl off. Or maybe Rey’s just dumb and that’s just wishful thinking. 

 

She wants somewhere quiet and out of the way, like the planet where they gave into each other. Ben wants something fancy with an actual bed. They went back and forth on it for awhile, trying to narrow down the location with the amount of time they are allowed as well as distance. Neither wants to give up much information, so it’s an awkward and annoying dance they have to do. She shoots one of his suggestions down. They’re both losing patience. Finally, they manage to pin down a middle class planet that’s crowded enough that they’d be just another pair of faces for a romantic getaway, nothing to be memorable about them from the millions of other couples that get filtered through the cities every day. 

 

Without telling anyone, Rey absconds with the Millenium Falcon and arrives there in a matter of hours. She knows she’s early, but with each passing tick of the clock she’s wringing her hands and thinking,  _ he’s not coming, he’s not coming. Did you really think he would come for you? He’s busy now with Supreme Leader duties. You’re nothing.  _

 

_ You’re not nothing. _ A soft voice resonates in her head, clearing away the toxicity.  _ Not to me, Rey. I’ll tell you that as many times you need to hear it for you to believe it, and I’ll tell you many times more. _

 

She stands, frantically searching the crowd for him. Skins a thousand shades blur by, red, oranges, blues, greens. Scales and fur. Fabrics of hues she’s only dreamed of, and there,  _ there, _ near the exit, a swath of black in the sea of colors. Rey bolts, dodging and cutting across the foyer so she can reach him. She stops just before touching him, their skin so close, fear keeping her from moving any further. 

 

“You came.” His voice sounds newly mended, like something once broken and healing gradually. He doesn’t reach over to touch her, neither want to break the spell of the moment, eyes staring into each other like their lives depend on it. He’s wearing something  _ remarkably  _ normal, it’s laughable to Rey. A black tunic that falls a little further than his waistline, black cargo pants that are a little too tight around the thighs, and black combat boots. He has a knapsack, and an unzipped black jacket. He looks a little bit… like a bad boy smuggler.

 

“ _ You _ came.”  Rey won’t pretend she’s been on the verge of a panic attack since she paid for the ship’s docking. They stay silent for a moment. 

 

“Do- do you want me to check us in?” Ben says after a moment of hesitation.

 

“I, um, wouldn’t even know how.” Rey admits quietly, nodding her head slightly.

 

“Well- I mean, I could show you. You can walk up to the counter with me and watch, if you want.” Ben offers, holding out his hand to her. It’s bare, no gloves, as though to say that there will be no secrets between them. 

 

“Yes.” Rey smiles at him finally, good and full. She feels the way he responds to her emotions, how his entire body perks up at pleasing her by doing something he perceived once as so inconsequential .

 

He walks with her up to the counter, greeting the staff and quickly getting the two of them situated. It’s a simple matter of giving the credits needed and confirming identification. Rey has false papers the Resistance provides their recruits with for stress free shore leave.  _ Daisy Ridley, _ her identification cards say, with a picture of her in a hairstyle she wouldn’t actually put herself in. Rey notices that Ben is using a similar tactic, all of his information saying something about  _ Matt the Radar Technician,  _ though instead of pretending to be unaffiliated with anyone the First Order’s logo is stamped on the card plain and visible. The concierge doesn’t appear to care much, running the money through the system and handing their room keys back with the receipt.

 

Rey waits until they’re in the elevator. “Radar technician?” She asks, her lips twitching up into a hesitant smile, “When have  _ you _ ever touched a radar in your life?” 

 

“Shut up.” Ben mumbles, not meaning it in the slightest, “I have.”  

 

“Really? Tell me where you plug in the central electrical current?” Rey exams her nails, her grip on the simple sack of clothes she had scrounged together held tightly in the other hand. 

 

“In- in uh, the plugging outlet.” Ben stammers, suddenly overwhelmingly interested in the floor buttons as they slowly rise to the upper levels. Rey’s smile turns a little smug as she watches him, he only notices after a few seconds. Realization flickers in his eyes, “There’s no central electrical current, is there.”

 

“Nope.” She laughs quietly, a good sound. When she stops, the doors slide open to reveal a long hallway going in both directions. The floor is a polished black stone, flecks of gold and gray smattered across the abyss. The walls are pastel yellow, every couple of meters there’s a framed painting of nude people dancing or other joyous activities.

 

“Wow.” Rey breathes, looking at the finery surrounding her. 

 

“I’m sorry, we had to stay a bit low key.” Ben is apologizing for seemingly no reason, “Anything nicer and I think I would have raised every kind of red flag that could possibly be waved.” 

 

“This isn’t- I mean, this is perfectly fine.” Rey breathes as Ben leads them to a far corner of the hall. A rich mahogany door, actual wood, so easy to dismiss as a other normal room and not the hiding place for two of the most powerful force users in the galaxy. He scans his key and opens the door, leading Rey into a branch of luxury she had not previously known. The floors are a rich blue carpet, the colors fading and darkening between dusty cerulean and navy. There’s a tiny foyer when she first walks in, the walls are black and there’s an open bathroom to the left. A walk-in closet to the right. When she steps out into the main room, Rey’s breath hitches. 

 

“Do you like it?” Ben asks quietly, his grip on his knapsack tightening in a nervous tick. “If you don’t, we can ask for another room. I can even see about moving up a class if you really-”

 

“Ben.” Rey says. He doesn’t correct her. “It’s beautiful.” 

 

And it is. There’s a bed with the fluffiest blankets she’s ever seen in her life, dyed into a rich wine red. Too many pillows populate the covers, dozens of black and red, plump and various sizes, some embroidered with golden thread. The bed is taller than any bed she’s ever seen before, she’ll have to put in some legwork to get onto it. The headboard is also black, with a bit of cushion. There’s some sort of artwork over the headboard, some textured black and white splatter that looks less like art and more like an accident. 

 

The room itself is incredibly spacious. It takes four big paces to get from the edge of the bed to the desk that’s taking up all of the opposite wall. Drawers and and cabinets dot the underside of the black wooden counter, a free space on the very edge by the window for punishing a chair into. A holovision settled on the counter directly in from of the bed. The window itself is curved almost like a semicircle but that that round, from ceiling to floor with a control panel on the wall beside it if they want to tint out the sunlight. A small round table with two chairs is in front of the window so they could eat in the sunset if they wanted. 

 

“I’m glad, then.” Rey barely registers his mumble. 

 

And then the reality of what the two of them are here to do sets in. Rey sets her bag on the table and gently smoothes the wrinkles out, and starts to say, “So about-” just as Ben tries to say, “I was thinking-”

 

“You go first.” They try in unison, then “Sorry.”

 

“You first.” Rey isn’t sure how well formed her thoughts are at the moment. 

 

“I was thinking,” Ben starts to say slowly, getting a little fast as his ideas form and excitement takes place, “We never got the chance to have a- a relationship, you know? And I know you probably don’t want to take the chance of being with me in public, but I mean, I just want you to know that whatever decision you make I will respect. I just want the chance to be- um, I don’t know if you want to label us or anything, but I guess I just want to provide more to you than arch nemesis-” He winces, “That you occasionally sleep with, if that’s okay with you. So if you want, and you don’t have to, you can tell me know, but.” He takes a deep breath, “Later tonight I was hoping you would like to go out in the town with me. For dinner. And maybe just looking around.” 

 

It takes Rey a minute to realize that he’s asking her out on a date, and only then she knows that because she’s witnessed it happen before between Finn and Rose. Poe had coached him for an hour, going over through the lines and helping him add confidence to his stature, it was actually kind of cute. But then, twist ending, Rose beat him to the punch and asked Finn out first. Turns out Poe had been going between the two and had bets with the rest of the squadron on who would ask who out first. Poe had collected fifty credits from various flightman that night. 

 

“We would go out to dinner?” Before she arrived, she would have vehemently refused. But now she’s looking at him and her brain is melting, and he’s offering her  _ food. _ Food that he would insist on paying, she knows. The empty part of her that’s always starving for both affection and hunger is putty in his hands, this rich and powerful man who would do anything for her.

 

“Anything you want.” 

 

Rey takes a deep breath, “Okay,” she agrees slowly, “As long as we take precautions. I don’t want to put the Resistance at risk.” 

 

Ben mouth twitches at the mention of his enemy faction, but as per their agreement, doesn't refute her. He agrees for her desire for secrecy, “No one is going to expect us to be wandering around in public, so I think it’s going to be fine.”

 

Rey self consciously tugs at the bottom of her tunic. “Can we- before we start, can we dim the windows and uh, turn off the lights?” 

 

“Yes.” Ben almost trips on himself to do as she asks. A faint glow emits from where the wall meets the floor, bathing them in bluish light that’s almost laughably similar to when they first became one. Everything polished to a shine in the room reflects to soft illumination, looking like candlelight.

 

And so they’re alone. About to have sex. With each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, this is turning out to be way longer than I thought it would be. Sorry? I'm afraid I'm not going to put a lot of philosophical plot or anything in this, as much as I want to. That's going to have to wait for a fix in the future, I think. This is going to be just fluff and smut, but if any of you want to see anything specific, you can give me some fic ideas in the comments. Thanks!

**Author's Note:**

> *Emerges forth from the sewers* Hello, everyone! Who wants to see Rey properly and thoroughly pleasured by our Supreme Emo Trash Baby? 
> 
> Sorry about not letting her enjoy her first time, wanted to keep it a little realistic. But do not fear, I am continuing the saga of shameless smut. She's gonna get it. She's gonna get it good.


End file.
